Cheating on your boss

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There are so very many mixed feelings that come around when you decide to look for another job / company while you are being employed. The feelings may vary from not carrying about your current employer, and being determined to make a change, to the nostalgia for leaving behind a relationship that made you happy at some point in your professional life. In my opinion, relationships, either personal or professional, share many similarities, which I’ll present in the following.

When you are decided to look for another employer, without giving at least a hint to your current one that you’re not happy, equals to cheating. As in personal relationship, when you cheat, you take the risk of suffering and making others suffer – but, it might bring also benefits. This depends mainly on how gracefully you do it. A thing is sure: try to be resonable and have in mind both of the sides involved.

So, my dear, your current employer might not have the slightest idea that you are not satisfied anymore by what it can offer you, and you don’t give it, at least, the chance to try to make you happy. It’s like that times when you don’t have a discussion with your partner regarding the fact that you’re not happy anymore with the relationship, and you come one day home, handing him the divorce papers. That shows disrespect towards someone you had (should have had) feelings for in the beginning. Discuss with your employer, tell him your expectations or concerns, and help him to help you. It’s this simple. If he fails meeting your expectations, while you give your own share in this “relationship” – then –  it’s the time to move on.

But how is it when you don’t tell your employer what is going on, and instead you look for other companies? Even if you don’t want to accept this, you are, my friend, a cheater 😀

You fantasize about other companies, about their warmth, about their care, about their free coffee, while you stand at your current employer’s desk. It’s like thinking about another guy, while you sleep in the same bed with your partner. Sometimes, you might feel ashamed for doing this, but in the end, you give yourself the circumstances: he’s not caring anymore to ask if your are OK, if your are happy or if you want more, so why would you care about him in the end? Why the remorse feelings when you had put yourself on the table for so many times and you weren’t appreciated? You fill yourself with anger thinking about, and reliving all the painful moments with him / it, while unfairly forgetting about the good moments because the anger dilutes them and makes them insignificant. Then, you close the eyes for a moment, and imagine yourself in this new company you’ve been dreaming of, putting all your hopes and wishes in this new relationship, which…surprise, can end up in the same point you’re at right now.

So you made courage to finally apply for that job. The company is available and ready to offer you the world. An infinite sea of learning opportunities and promotions are awaiting for you. He’ll promise you roses and candles under the form of shopping vouchers, private medical care, subscription to the gym, X-Mas Parties and team-buildings –  all the cost covered. Your knees are melting: it’s the perfect one! Well… the risk is that one day, once you move in with him, he’ll forget about the roses, or he’ll buy you cheap chocolate instead, culminating with the moment when he’ll stop doing these pleasentries all together.

All the relationships – personal & professional – go through the same stages: excitement and discovery, challanges to solve problems and issue management, plateu and routine, fights, and sadly, ends.

The secret for long-lasting relationships is, IMHO to be honest and open, communicate your expectations clearly, be prepared for compromising when necessary, and be ready to move on, when there’s nothing else left solving.

This is why when I am interviewing candidates for jobs, I always have a nose for “whores” i.e. emplyees that changed their job place extremly often. If he cheated on them, the odds are, he’ll cheat on you too 🙂

Sincerely,

A.

To my friend.

Every woman should have (at least) one gay friend.  But, as with regular straight people, gay people come in different shapes and textures, and – as with straight people, you might not click with all the gay people. As far as I am concerned, I was lucky enough to have met only high-quality gay people.

Whereas I never categorise people in any way, for the purpose of this post, I’ll talk and refer about gay people, not to make them in any way different (even if they are – positively), but because this topic is about the way I appreciate them.

As usual, here’s my disclaimer when discussing about delicate subjects: I am not any expert in the field, I am only talking about this subject from my own experience – as a straight woman having gay friends. Again, if you feel offended, don’t read. This post is not for you. 

Now that I have my disclaimer, I can move into the subject.

So, one of my friends, from my very few friends, is gay. He is both special and normal in the same time. As a matter of fact, I don’t see anything strange in him, having a relationship and doing regular things that straight people do, however, there is no man, who could compete with my gay friend, in terms the quality of the company. When we meet for a coffee, the whole world stops for the moment. If you remember about my 2014 strategy to live as much as possible in the present, well, my friend is one very aiding “tool” that helps me achieve this – his presence works almost as good as with my nephew’s company when I am absorbed entirely by his playing and giggling. For this reason, I am very grateful to have him around. So when we meet we discuss almost anything. He is one of the most sensitive, caring, colourful person, I love to be around to. We discuss pretty much anything. He is really open-minded but in the same time, he won’t offend anyone with whom he is and how he has chosen to live his life without pretending to be someone whom he isn’t. He is a genuine person, with feelings and dreams, who loves and suffers, and whom you can rely on for an honest opinion about anything.

I love when we hang around, we do make-up and talk about God-knows-what and we have a blast. He is one of the most groomed person I ever known, and he is extremely careful about mixing colours and fabrics. Not that it matters too much, but he is a true gentlemen too, the one that moves your chair for you to sit on, or takes your coat and does different small things like this, that, for a woman, make a difference.

I don’t understand why some people are against gay people. They never harmed anyone (at least those I know of) and except for their sexual orientation, they are no different from the straight people. They have jobs, pay taxes, help those around them in need, and so on. Why should we (that stupidly call ourselves  normal people, when we’re obviously not if we’re being judgemental) impose them whom should they marry to, or whom to love? There are awesome gay couples that have adopted children and are providing for them a warm and caring home, when they wouldn’t have had this chance if they would had remained with their truly dysfunctional families (mother and father alcoholics or junkies or maybe even worse…) Why some must decide that, because of the sexual preference, a gay person should not be a parent? I think it’s bullshit, and I think that the society must have evolved more, lately, than this – remaining stuck into some old-fashioned ideas about what normal is.

In my humble opinion, I think that gay people should have the same rights as the straight people. At the end of the day, what one does in his bedroom is his damn business, not yours. No one will make you watch while they are doing their thing in the bedroom, because they are, like you and me, too, keeping their intimate things private – so… if you imagine gross things, than – with all due respect, you must have a sick mind, not them.

Now, I’d prefer a 1000 times, my gay friend’s company than to a superficial friend, who would, out of an interest of some kind, keep a friendship for a just-in-case situation and whose solely communication with me would be limited to weather like subjects and work.

This post is dedicated to one of my dear and special (not because of the sexual orientation) friend whom I admire for his human qualities and for his guts to be and act exactly how he is.

Sincerely,

A.

P.S. Ladies: did any of your male friends texted you lately saying: Princess, care for a coffee? Mine did.

Anxiety

I have a little friend that lives in my head whom can be recognized by several names: worry, fear or clinically, anxiety.

Lao Tzu said:

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

This friend of mine usually comes uninvited and makes me worry about both real things that can happen and other things that can’t, but … there is a slight possibility to happen. When it comes, it gives me butterflies in my stomach, but not the nice kind and it makes me agitated and restless. The sad thing is that it usually comes uninvited. Whenever I feel good or I found myself in a relaxing environment, it takes a matter of seconds for it to appear and ruin my mood.

I usually think about my family and their well-being, and most of the time, when this friend comes, it paralyzes me with thoughts that maybe my family needs me in that very moment, and I can’t help, I am not there, I can’t do anything. I hate the thought that there are situations where things that are beyond our control happen. I know, and I am struggling with the thought, that I MUST ACCEPT the inevitable, the uncontrollable, the hazard. I need to accept that in life we cannot control everything, and some things just need to follow their natural course.

At the beginning of 2014 I have made the promise to myself, to live more in the present than in the past or future (my problem is the future), and, because of that, I have been given throughout the year (and the year is not even over yet!) different situations when my ability to stay anchored in the present was weakened. My mind wandered everywhere in the future, creating depressing scenarios about situations that WILL EVENTUALLY happen, but haven’t happen yet. It’s like I am deprived of the chance to be happy about the present, by projecting situations that didn’t happen yet. This makes me sad and angry on myself for not being able to control it (see…my point exactly…it’s a looping hole)

I have read a lot on the subject, so I know the theory well. I know that in order to cease thinking out bad stuff, you need to occupy your brain with productive information; I know that you must learn to accept those things that you can’t change and find your peace. I know all these things. What I can’t do, but I am determined to, is to be able at some point to intrinsically accept these things. It’s one thing to speak about the theory, read or write about it, and really believe in it, with all your cells.

Due to my anxiety I have developed during the last two years, IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) – which is not a fun illness to have. It creates pain in my stomach and sometimes, I can barely walk or sit because of it. Recently I went to a good doctor that diagnosed it and I am on treatment since then. The treatment seems to help relieving the pain, however, I am prone of recurrently having these symptoms because of my anxiety. So, IBS is strongly related to anxiety, and anxiety to IBS, and this is why you need to look at it (and treat it) holistically.

I have good days and bad days (today I am in between) – and I know that if I am not fighting my anxiety, regardless of the worrying factor (which will change during the a lifetime), I will always be like this – and I don’t want this.

You know what the strange thing is? I don’t consider myself a vulnerable person, nor lacking self-confidence – I am an educated, fun and nice to talk to individual, I have a job, friends, a nice family and purposes in life, however, the anxiety doesn’t come based on your CV. The anxiety is something you develop in time, or can be triggered by a one-time event and this is why is tricky to make it go away easily.

Whereas I know that there is medication for this condition, I prefer to use my innate capacity of recovery because it’s more natural. I can and will do this. At least, I know now what my friend is called, I learned how to live with it for the moment and I’ll learn how to make it move away and never come back. Wish me luck!

Sincerely,

A.

Relationship status: how to get the right woman for you

…Right. This posting is not about myself. I might fall into one category or another, however, what I try to do here is to present the male readers with a few relationship statuses some women are in and how this influences them in having a chance to pursue them.

Disclaimer: I am not some expert in this field, so I don’t claim to own the absolute truth. Some of my opinions might apply while some won’t. If you feel offended, don’t read.

First thing first, let’s make one thing clear: some women still want / desire to be pursued à la carte by a gentlemen with care, consideration and respect, even if that relationship with you won’t lead necessarily to marriage.

The single lady

[I am using the term lady, because I want to clearly differentiate between the classy and the not-so-classy-with-a-hint-of-tramp type of women. So, to be clear, to be a lady refers for the purpose of my posting, a woman who knows what she wants in life and seeks to achieve it gracefully (i.e. be it a career, a relationship, etc.)]

The single lady is that woman who you think is willing to fool around in order to experiment with different male partners, until she decides on the one who might meet some of her standards (the reason we strive for the best and for perfection is in order to achieve at least something resembling to our expectations), and this is why you find her the most approachable from her kind. Oh, by the way, you’re right! (wink wink)

Going back to the point, the single lady will have time for you, so she’ll dedicate her afternoons and evenings, as well as the weekends for seeing you and getting to know you better. Some of the single ladies might even do this in parallel with several guys at a time, just because they can, so why the hell not?

She is willing to experiment, try, test and taste, switch, start and finish any relationship without any remorse. The single lady, will, at some point, meet you.

What do you do? You don’t need to invest too much effort into attracting her because she’ll either like you and give you a chance, or not. Because, once again, she can and will do this.

You might prove to be the one that she’s been looking for, so, after a period of dating you will end up moving together, then after a while, she’ll give you signs that she wants to be proposed, you’ll get married, you’ll born children and bam, you’ll die.

If I’d be a guy, a single lady won’t attract me much because I already know the end of that story.

The divorced lady

This type will be fun to be with. She already went thorough a relationship, so she knows the drill – as a result, she won’t try the marriage too soon. She’s not that young anymore (hopefully – unless she married too young and divorced too soon – case in which, give her some time to grow up) so she’ll know – at least out of the failed relationship, what works for a man and what doesn’t. She will probably give you more space, because her ex-husband complaint about her being too suffocating, she’ll probably be more active and fun in bed, because the jerk cheated on her with a more luscious woman (not necessarily a lady), she’ll cook for you because she learned how to it so far, and all in all, she will try to compensate all the draw-backs of her previous relationship, on your benefit. Congrats! You just hit the jackpot. Oh, almost forgot, she’ll probably be emotionally vulnerable, and maybe think that all men are pigs so she’ll try to use you in turn. Yeeeey! Good for you, lad!

What do you do? Be a man. Make her feel special by taking her out to elegant dinners,  go with her in the weekends to a remote location, somewhere fancy, buy her some girly stuff (flowers, some nice wine, tickets to theatre or ballet, etc.). She’ll slowly recover from the pain of a failed relationship and she will start seeing the light at the other end of the tunnel. She will regain faith in men, eventually, and she’ll be grateful for that. She’ll see you like the prince in the shining armour.

You don’t need to marry her. She might not even need it, but you can stay very good friends forever. Good times, guaranteed, anyway!

The divorced with children lady

This one is tricky: she will either want you as her children’s father, because the bastard left with the high-school nanny, or she’ll just use you for meaningless sex in between laundries, taking kids to school, her yoga classes or her job. A thing is for sure, this lady is BUSY.

What do you do?  If you wanted children without putting any effort into it (LOL), that’s your chance. Show her you like the child (children), spend time with them, advice them (but be careful not crossing any delicate line), help them with their math homework, be fathery in a word. Once you’ll become a part of the family, maybe, just maybe, the mother will have some time for you as well (it’s supposed you’re helping out with the chores around the house).

If you didn’t want children, then you either make it very clear towards her from the very start (she might not accept the idea, though) or you can go with the flow and see what happens. If she likes you enough, even if you’re not committed to any serious thing between you too, you might have big chances for becoming her new fun hobby – as in a hobby (not a passion) she might just get sick of you one day, and dump you. Well, you took that chance already, when, as an asshole, you told her that you only like her but not her kids (Careful with this!).

Don’t panic! Single moms are everywhere. Oh, right – if she, in turn makes it clear that she’s only is interested in meaningless sex for distressing purposes, then here you are, you got yourself a purpose in life: you can pursue other single moms in between your dates with this one, so, you’ll end up into being a sort of healer to them. Don’t tell me you didn’t want to become a hero one day!

To be continued (thought to myself: dinner is burning).

Sincerely,

A.

About weed

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It’s been a couple of days since my last post, because as normal people, on weekends, I take time for myself to recharge my batteries. This weekend, I didn’t feel that posting something on my blog would contribute to my happiness, so I had chosen doing some other things. I especially enjoyed spending time with my grandmother with whom I had an amazing talk (well, mostly myself, she basically agreed with the abundance of things I wanted to tell her) and on Saturday evening when I returned home, I spent some wonderful quality time with my better half. At some point, I gave him some space for doing men stuff when I decided to watch a light movie to relax. My choice was quite random, and I must confess that I was attracted by the movie title: Two night stand – as I started to blog about relationships quite a lot. Readers are interested in this subject, so I provide…

Well going back to this movie…on short it is about a young woman, who recently got out of a long relationship, with no prospects in life. She has a degree as a doctor, but that profession is not appealing to her. She only went to the med-school because of her high school sweetheart who probably went there too (I don’t remember well, and it’s also not very important for this posting). The sad thing is that this lady decided that she only needed a degree, in whatever, because her purpose in life was to become a wife and a mother, so the degree didn’t matter much. Well, those plans (bad for her) didn’t turn out that well, and here she was, sharing an apartment with her lady friend and having no purpose mid-term or long-term whatsoever. In order to get back on track, and because of the peer-pressure – her words – she creates an account on a dating website and meets a guy for meaningless sex. She goes to his apartment do what they need to do, and in the morning they wake up hating each other but are trapped in the house for the next two days due to a snow storm in New York. They end up knowing each other better and doing stupid things out of boredom among which they are getting stoned.

So just now we’re getting into the subject! (if you want the short version of this posting, read below – I spare you this long introduction 😛 )

Good…so, what’s all about getting stoned in the movies? I started thinking about all these movies / films, that promote the recreational drugs, lately. You don’t see much characters smoking cigars (cigarets) in the movies anymore, as they used to, some decades ago, but you see them getting stoned. So smoking was considered bad and somehow slowly disappeared from the movie scenes, however, smoking weed has become the new back in the media. As this idea struck me, I’ve lost interest in the movie I was watching all of a sudden and started thinking about this trend. There are numerous movies in which stoning is promoted (I was too lazy to list all of them, so feel free to check the link if interested) and as many in which drug traffic is presented in an attractive manner for the viewers (Weeds & Breaking Bad), which, for this reason, ended up as very successful TV series. On a side note, there are also movies that present subjects as killing and escaping with it (i.e. Dexter) for the greater good. I’ve read about this lad who killed and chopped his 16 years girlfriend inspired by his heroes: Dexter and Hannibal Lecter. What the actual f**k?!!

Now going back to me proving a point. I like all these films, TV series, etc. – especially the That 70s Show, but I don’t find the content appropriate for teenagers. Now let’s be honest when we say that those films are rated PG-13 or R – who do you think in this world can restrict the teenager from watching them? Don’t will they find a way to have access to them? For those of you familiar with the Simpsons you will remember about that episode when Marge fought against Itchy and Scratchy in a failed attempt to ban the cartoons. Lisa and Bart ended up visiting their friends for watching the series anyway and then, at the end of the show, Marge admits that it is wrong to censor one form of art (the Michelangelo nude sculpture) but not another, and sadly concludes that while one person can make a difference, at the end of the day they probably should not. So in the end, the kids receive back their most beloved violent cartoons.

So while in your late 20s you can watch such content and decide for yourself what is cool and what is not, these kids don’t have the same ability during teenage hood. I was myself a teenager and I can confess now, that looking back, I would kick my ass for some of the stupid things I’ve done. Nevertheless, I guess, every kid must go through this stupidity process, at the right age, doing crazy things that pop up in their heads. I am wondering though if the current young generation is not taking this whole craziness to a whole another level and they put themselves and the others in danger being inspired by these movies.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the fun things, which every mature person would choose to do at some point in life for the sake of experimentation or whatever, but what I am not fine with is the behaviour promoted nowadays in movies, on the Internet and such, that confuses young people into thinking that there is no consequence to fun. In my humble opinion I would advice all the young readers to weight the decision regarding when is the appropriate time for trying crazy things, and to wait at least the college period when they are a bit more mature and ready for these experiences. You can try it but be cautious: for some things, there’s no turning back! I’m just saying… Be safe and be good!

Sincerely,

A.

Anna.

OK. Why did Anna Karenina need to commit suicide to prove her love? In my opinion it was just madness, and so, I don’t find what she did the supreme gesture of sacrifice out of love. No one deserves your sacrifice, and foremost importantly, you don’t need do that to prove a point. Period.

If Anna Karenina would have been my lady friend, I would have told her to get her shit together and suffer like a woman. There is never no option in life to anything, especially to heart / love related problems, that cannot be solved other than with self-sacrifice (Double negation intended for emphasis reasons).

So what did Lev Tolstoi want to present his readers with? What was the lesson behind Anna Karenina’s story? Personally, I didn’t care about the other characters in the book story, because obviously the most intriguing one was Anna’s struggle while the others where just making the book whole. It is, let’s give it that, a beautifully written story about love and madness, but, if I read it now, with the eyes of a modern, independent and sane woman, I’d say that she was definitely going bananas with all that shit she was going through.

To summarise a bit the plot for those that haven’t read the actual book (SPOILER ALERT)…Anna Karenina was a fine lady of late nineteenth century living in the high society of St. Petersburg who meets an interesting guy (Count Vronsky), whom she has an affair with. The guy starts dating her and everything goes warm and fuzzy for both of them until she gets pregnant with him and everything starts falling apart. She decides to leave her husband leaving her new-born baby with him – a decent man who collaborates into fixing their marriage, but the woman follows her heart – and moves in with her boyfriend (that’s a good reason, by the way, why some relationships should be left unfinished). Because of the standards imposed by the society at that point, and because a divorce would have been complicated (check my other post for details on the subject), she ends up isolated and paranoid about her boyfriend chasing other women. Doh…he was that courteous type of guy anyway, so what would you expect?! Clinically, this woman suffered from depression (which at that time was being called a blue heart) and committed suicide in a moment of insanity (acute one) by jumping in front the train.

Anna, what were you thinking about?

Yes, you are right. You weren’t thinking! Suicide is not considered romantic nowadays! It’s called depression and it can be managed with therapy and pills. Talk it through with one of your trustworthy friends, go to a movie, read a book, have a nice glass of wine (do not exaggerate with that!), or have a walk in the park. Find yourself a hobby, or for God’s sake, get a job! Occupy your brain with useful things or at least, with pleasurable ones that make you feel good about yourself. And last but not least, remember: no one is responsible for your own happiness! You can search the Earth crisscross and you’ll never find that man who is willing to dedicate 100% of his time to make YOU happy. So, stand up, rise and shine, go out and be a woman!   Once you do that, they will come to you and provide that love that comes out of respect towards you and not pity, my dear friend…

Sincerely,

A.

P.S. If you don’t read the book, which you should, you can watch the film. Keira Knightley is an amazing actress who perfectly envisions Anna Karenina in this role. You couldn’t ask for more 😉 Enjoy it!

Lisbon and Jane

I have randomly came across this link http://www.cbs.com/shows/the_mentalist/photos/1001127/10-must-see-jane-and-lisbon-moments/ and I awed through each picture until the last one when…I was disappointed. They finally kissed each other! So you are thinking, wait – that is the moment that every viewer was expecting: Jane and Lisbon to kiss – well, I was not one of them.

This is because I find their undeclared attraction and the not together kind of couple they used to form, a more interesting plot to watch, than them actually kissing and deciding to become a couple. I know they won’t be forming a couple, against the kiss scene of the Season 6 finale, for a simple reason: people will lose the interest in watching the Mentalist series. Let’s be honest, besides that detective stories, the viewers also choose to watch the Mentalist for the romantic moments between these two characters, and a resolution on this sexual-delicate play between them in the form of: and they lived happily ever after won’t make them willing to watch more.

So what makes this pair so interestingly to watch? First of all, they are two amazingly perfect envisioned characters.

Jane is a nonchalant, 40ish intelligent and elegant-in-a-messy-way kind of guy, burdened by his dark past, who dedicates his life in finding the one responsible for the murders committed on his daughter and beloved wife. He effortlessly solves murder cases for the CBI on the daily basis, however, every time he comes closer to finding the most important murderers, he slips him through his fingers. Could this Red John surpass Jane’s intelligence? In my opinion, this feature was a right move from the playwriters of Mentalist, otherwise, this man would have been too perfect.

Lisbon, on the other hand, – wait, she is the female character, don’t be mislead by their names – is a composed, independent (not so good-looking in my opinion but who compensates with her leadership skills – because most of the cases are solved by Jane, so she’s not extremely bright) in her late 30s who secretly admires Jane but who would never admit it.

The small moments they have, almost poetical, are the salt and pepper of the show (at least for the female viewers). The fact that these moments come in small doses makes the viewer to want more of it, but not all. They are perfect as they are.

Now, my personal conclusion is that some relationships in life are better to be left unfinished. You shouldn’t always end up in a relationship with the woman / men you like, love, admire, bare feelings for, because it might not turn the way you dreamed of. You might be perfect just the way you are, separate, two individuals, beautifully crafted, who, once in a while when they meet, the flowers start blooming, the unicorns start pooping rainbows 🙂 and the whole world lays at their feet. Oh wait, then what is it wrong with it? Overdosing on this would just decrease its effect because one cannot eat ice-cream everyday – just cause they love it.

Sincerly,

A.

A job that chooses you

If someone would have asked me when I was young, what I would like to become, I would have never said that I would like to become a manager. The most appealing jobs for the young me were: religion teacher (it makes me smile now, that I think about it) and later, actress (I used to be a member of the acting class, an optional activity during elementary school). During highschool, I stopped thinking about what I would like to do for a living and I somehow stopped thinking about the dream job. I changed my mentality from the childhood towards: in life we don’t do only the things that we like, so in some way, I kind of came to terms with the idea that as long as you work and make a living out of it, dream jobs are for idealists.

During college, I never worked a day, as a result, right after my graduation from International Relations and European Studies, I woke up one day and I’ve seen the reality: I had this diploma but no job. Besides the fact that I didn’t have a job, the prospects of getting a job in the field of my studies were close to the impossible. I was depressed for days, weeks, and months. I was searching for jobs that I would be qualified for, without any aspirations to a dream job. My qualifications at that time were: graduated from University, fluent in English, computer literate and as soft skills: determination, ambition and responsibility. Nothing came along.

Through a coincidence, I founded out about a job opening in the University as a secretary. It was not posted on the recruiting websites, so I considered myself very lucky to hear about it. So, I went to the University and applied for the role which I received. The salary was close to nothing (especially as an entry in the public system) however I was extremely motivated to be given the opportunity to have a job, so I have never complained. It was definitely not my dream job: all the paper work, running from Department to Department for getting the signatures necessary for different research contracts and making small talk with the professors waiting in line to see my manager in meetings, was quite dull and unfulfilling. The challenge soon came when I was given more responsibilities in between my daily activities: taking care of a small computer network for our Department and organizing an International Scientific Conference. I started to enjoy what I was doing, because besides being a secretary, I also started to get more involved in the academic activities and research. At the time I worked as a secretary for the Research Department, I finished my Master Degree in Computer Science and applied for entering the doctoral studies in the same domain. I was admitted.

During my doctoral studies as a POSDRU PhD student I had to go abroad for at least 3 months for an internship to a foreign University. That move was a milestone in my professional life. Seeing the way research was done in a British University contributed to my decision that I won’t be remaining in the academia in Romania. It was either abroad (which I wouldn’t have been willing to do) or not at all. We were years behind what happened abroad in terms of research (process, know-how, facilities, and nonetheless, pay) so I refused the half-measure. By the time I returned in my country, after 3 months in England, I made the decision to submit my resignation and look for a job that would meet my needs. I wanted to go in the production, to see exactly the output of my work. I wanted to have tangible results, to set objectives for my self-development and to grow as a professional. Still, I had no idea what job would choose me.

Another coincidence, made that one of my best friends was preparing to move to another country, when she refused a job offer from an IT Outsourcing company. She told me about them, disappointed that they contacted her too late. She wanted to stay in Romania, but like myself, she wasn’t able to find a decent job so she moved away.

Once I heard about this company, I decided to apply and after a long recruiting process, where I was told that I am over-qualified for the job (i.e. help-desk technician in English) and when I almost lost the faith that I will ever receive an offer, I was invited for another meeting. During that meeting I was offered a specialist role, and the person that interviewed me (a manager at that time in the company) told me that they are aware that I can do better than a specialist role because I have the potential, but that was all that they could offer me at that time. I accepted without blinking – especially because the pay was much better than what I was earning in the University.

That person kept her promise. I had the potential, AND I WAS GIVEN THE SUPPORT to learn and grow. In less than a year, I applied for a Team Leader role, which I had got. I founded out that my dream job was in the management. I loved the figures and the charts, I loved working with the people, helping them to grow in turn and evolve, and I started to see the results. It gave me, finally, a sense of purpose. My motivation was off the roof.

This happened in 2011 and since then, I continue to learn how to be a good manager, how to inspire those around me and how to do all these things with humbleness.

Sincerly,

A.